THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF
CADILLAC NEWS -- SEPTEMBER 26, 2020
There is so much going on in the world today that burning questions abound. I have burning questions. You have burning questions. But where are the answers to those burning questions? Well, for some of those the answers are here.
For example, with the daylight saving time switch looming on November 1 a question about clocks might be an apt warm up. Question: It's one minute after midnight. On an analog clock, how many times will the hands meet between now and noon? Answer: Not so fast my friends. Exercise your noggin and check at the end of this column for the solution.
Next question: What do you do if you're in love and want to make your marriage proposal in the wurst way? Answer: “Oscar Mayer has now publicly announced that you can summon its Wienermobile your marriage proposal. The application form is at: https://khcmobiletour.com/wienermobile/request. It’s free and nothing says 'let’s spend our lives together' like an enormous mechanical sausage on wheels.” (https://thetakeout.com/rent-the-oscar-mayer-wienermobile-for-your-proposal-fo-1845049070)
This leads us to another food question: Is it possible to be a pro hamburger tester? Answer: It sure is possible. “A website is offering $500 to a winning applicant willing to serve as a professional cheeseburger tester. BonusFinder.com is seeking a cheeseburger taster to find the best burger in the United States. Submit your application at: https://www.bonusfinder.com/about-us/blog/cheeseburger-tester-job.
As long as we're dealing with food questions, here's another one. Question: When is a chicken wing not a chicken wing? Answer: A guy recently asked that at a city council meeting in Lincoln City, Nebraska. “We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten out of control. I'm talking about boneless chicken wings. Boneless chicken wings are composed of meat that doesn't actually come from the wing of the bird. Our children are raised being afraid of having bones attached to their meat. We've been living a lie for far too long.” Alternative names he suggested were saucy nugs and wet tenders, but I will bet you have better ideas. (https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2020/09/03/Watch-Nebraska-man-asks-City-Council-to-rename-boneless-chicken-wings/3641599160601/)
Halloween will soon be here. So, here's the question: How can you hand out candy to trick or treaters and still maintain social distancing? Answer: An Ohio dad has unveiled his Halloween invention -- a candy chute. "We took a tube from an Amazon package and got out the spray paint and the duct tape. The 6-foot tube was affixed to our front porch handrail, creating a chute for handing out candy. This will be a completely touch-free experience for trick or treaters. There will be a sign at the bottom of the tube showing them where to hold their bags and buckets so the candy can drop right in." See this in operation at: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2020/09/18/Watch-Ohio-dad-invents-candy-chute-for-touch-free-trick-or-treating/9431600448666/.
Another holiday fast approaching is Christmas. Naturally, our thoughts turn to children's toys. Classic toys are always a good choice for gifts, so that leads to a question: What toys will be inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame this year? Answer: Three toys will be added to the list of 71 already in the HOF. This year's nominees are: Baby Nancy, bingo, Breyer Horses, Jenga, Lite-Brite, Masters of the Universe, My Little Pony, Risk, sidewalk chalk, Sorry!, Tamagotchi, and Yahtzee. The winners will be announced on November 5 at: https://www.museumofplay.org/.
Getting those toys in time for the holiday is another problem. Here's the question: Why is it taking so long for orders to be delivered (either to a local store or my residence)? Answer: There are several reasons for the delays, but here is one element that is impacting the supply chain in a big way. “Goods make their way from Asia to the U.S. on massive cargo ships, and the shipping industry is barreling toward a labor crisis. Hundreds of thousands of workers are currently stranded at sea because their home countries’ pandemic travel restrictions prevent them from coming ashore. Abandoning them on ships threatens to collapse global shipping by exhausting workers currently at sea while driving those waiting for work to other industries.” (https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/09/pandemic-broke-online-shopping/616353/)
Holiday spending is a big part of the economy. When it comes to paper money, here's an interesting question: Should we take $100 dollar bills out of circulation? Answer: “Since the pandemic hit, the amount of paper dollars in the world has actually increased. There is now $2 trillion in paper dollars out in the world — roughly $200 billion more than there was at the start of the year. It's largely hundreds. There are more $100 bills than ones — enough to give every person in America $4,000 in hundreds.”
“People in developing countries are keeping their life savings in hundreds to protect themselves against unreliable local currencies and shaky banks. Also, lots and lots of people are using lots and lots of cash to evade taxes and to traffic in drugs, people and stolen merchandise. Getting rid of 100s — and, for that matter, 50s — would let normal people go about their cashy business. Getting rid of big bills would make it much less convenient to move around very large sums of paper money. This would effectively raise the cost of using cash to commit crimes.” (https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2020/09/15/912695985/should-we-kill-the-100-bill)
Finally, I am sorry to have to report that there will be no candy Peeps for a while. The question is simply: When will we be able to enjoy Peeps again? Answer: “Peeps treats are going on hiatus for several months. Just Born Quality Confections said it won’t be producing the popular marshmallow sweets for Halloween, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day.” Do not despair, though. Peeps will be back. The company is focusing on “...the expected overwhelming demand for Peeps for next Easter season.” (https://www.newser.com/story/296129/there-will-be-no-peeps-for-halloween.html)
Oh, by the way, here's the solution to the warm up question at the beginning of this column. The clock question answer is eleven times: 1:08, 2:10, 3:16, 4:21, 5:27, 6:32, 7:38, 8:43, 9:49, 10:55, and noon.
Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.
Social Distance Halloween Candy Chute