NO FOOLING

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- APRIL 1, 2023

With today being April Fools Day, it's appropriate to cover some news that generates a fitting response. These are items that might cause you to react with a genuine feeling of surprise. No fooling!

 

To begin, did you know that this year's Cadbury Bunny is not a rabbit? “For the first time, a feline won the contest. Crash, an eight-year-old orange and white, one-eyed rescue cat from Boise, Idaho, earned the honor. Crash was rescued following a devastating car accident that left him severely injured and with one eye.” 

 

Being named the Cadbury Bunny has its perks. “Crash will receive $5,000 for himself and a shelter of his choice as well as a starring role in Cadbury's famous Clucking Bunny commercial.” (https://people.com/pets/crash-the-cat-wins-2023-cadbury-bunny-tryouts/)

 

Speaking of animals, students at Michigan State University are having an interesting interaction. “Students have experienced unique stressors during the spring semester. MSU's Dairy Teaching and Resource Center is looking to help soothe this by welcoming the public to spend quality time with their cows and calves. The center is inviting students to de-stress by petting MSU cows and calves.” 

 

This seems to be working. One student observed: “Somebody would stand there and just brush a cow for an hour and they said it felt so peaceful.” (https://statenews.com/article/2023/03/msu-dairy-farms-offers-days-for-students-to-de-stress-by-petting-cows)

 

Sometimes things get so stressful you don't know whether you're coming or going. If this is something you experience, there will soon be a shoe to cover both directions. “Brooklyn-based creative collective MSCHF has another stunt shoe ready to roll out soon. The footwear, dubbed the BWD Shoe, are a pair of sneakers in which each shoe has two openings to select, allowing the shoe to be worn either forward or backward.” 

 

If this sounds like a fashion statement right up your alley, make plans to snag a pair right now. “The BWD shoe drops on April 11 for one hour at 2 p.m. ET and is being sold via the MSCHF Sneakers app and at mschf.com. The shoes are priced at $135. No information was available on how many of the sneakers would be released by the company.” See these at: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/mschf-bwd-shoe-backward-forward-sneaker-1235360743/.

 

Also on the fashion realm, there's a sidelight to the trial in Utah involving a ski collision between actress Gwyneth Paltrow and a retired optometrist. “It was only a matter of time before her fashion became a part of the coverage.” 

 

Fashionistas evaluated Paltrow's outfit on the second day of the proceedings. “According to a report from The Daily Mail, Paltrow's outfit cost more than most luxury vehicles. A Utahn working the state's minimum wage would have to work four years and spend money on nothing else in order to afford the March 22 wardrobe.”

 

All together, Paltrow's sweater, trousers, boots, bag, necklace, and trench coat came to a total of $88,820 (give or take). (https://thenationaldesk.com/news/from-the-desk/costs-of-gwyneth-paltrows-ski-trial-outfits-are-more-than-many-make-in-a-year-park-city-utah-deer-valley-ski-resort-ironman-coldplay-shakespeare-in-love-oscars-expensive-clothes-celebrity-news)

 

Paltrow was in the action film “Iron Man” and this transitions nicely into a factoid about that movie genre. Apparently, many male action heroes have names beginning with the letter J. Some well-known characters fit this observation: John Wick, Jason Bourne, Jack Reacher, John McClane, James Bond, Jack Bauer, and double hitter John James Rambo.

 

One researcher  did some digging. “Around 2,206 modern movies have been released in the genre, beginning in 1962 with Dr. No, the first movie to star James Bond. From these movies, I narrowed down the list to include productions and movies centered on a male everyman–type hero. This left 790 movies featuring an everyman-type lead. Of these 790 movies, thirty-three percent have a male protagonist with a first name starting with the letter J. The most popular J name among these strapping warriors was John, with seventy-four movies, followed by James, with fifty movies, and Jack, with thirty-seven.” 

 

In case you are wondering, the most frequent fiendish name in these movies is Victor. “Villains have names beginning with J only seven percent of the time.” (https://slate.com/culture/2023/03/john-wick-james-bond-action-heroes-j-names.html)

 

Finally, I discovered a word that perfectly describes what just happened in Greenland. The word is “desideratum.” It means something that is needed or wanted. The desideratum in Greenland should be a beacon of common sense for the entire world. 

 

“Residents of Greenland have switched to daylight saving time and moved their clocks one hour forward this weekend for the very last time. Greenlanders will leave their clocks untouched come autumn when daylight saving time ends, while Europe and the U.S. debates whether to stick to the twice-yearly practice. The shift of time zone marks an exciting new beginning and an opportunity to slow down in a fast-paced world.” (https://apnews.com/article/greenland-daylight-saving-summertime-utc-gmt-3b5b90720fce47066cb086ba8f91cef4)

 

Speaking as an old curmudgeon, every politician in America should take a hint from the Greenlanders. Make a decision! Vote to put the country on standard time or daylight saving time. I don't care which one you choose. Just pick one and roll with it! 

 

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.