FAST AND LOOSE

THE NEFF ZONE -- BY JIM NEFF

CADILLAC NEWS -- OCTOBER 7, 2023

Sometimes it's fun to rattle unencumbered through news items and facts. With no lengthy website addresses to stumble over, it's like traversing an open road with no speed bumps. With no organizational plan, it's blue highways with no GPS. So, let's do this! Trust me, everything that follows is from a legitimate source. 

We're now in October which is the tenth month of the year. However, there was a time when this was not the case. “While the modern calendar considers October to be the tenth of the year, it wasn’t always that way. For the ancient Romans, who created the earliest form of the calendar we use now, October was originally the eighth month.” That's because back then the year ran from March to December. It wasn't until 700 BCE that January and February were added. 

The school year is now in full swing. It's hard to miss all those yellow school busses. There's a reason those busses are all the same color. “In an effort to standardize school bus construction around the country, school transportation officials met at Columbia University in 1939 to discuss the universal color for these vehicles. The color that was finally selected — known today as National School Bus Glossy Yellow, or Color 13432 — was chosen because of its ability to stand out from the background more than many other colors.”  

A lot of thinking went into choosing school bus yellow, but it did not require excessive brain power. “A typical adult human brain runs on around twelve watts—a fifth of the power required by a standard 60 watt light bulb.” 

Speeding around a school bus is a violation of the law. Back in the day, however, speed was a relative term. The first-ever speeding ticket was issued to a driver going eight miles an hour in England on January 28, 1896. “A bicycle-riding constable was able to catch up to him and the ensuing low-speed pursuit led to the first-ever speeding ticket.” 

The invention of the speeding ticket is interesting, but other inventions also have unique origins. For instance, bubble wrap was invented for use as wallpaper. “When it was first created in 1957 in New Jersey, inventors Al Fielding and Marc Chavannes had a vision in mind. The duo thought it would serve as a textured wallpaper marketed to a younger generation with modern taste.” The initial idea was a flop, however.” Obviously, bubble wrap is now used as a packing material.

Another innovator was looking for something that would replace his suspenders. American author Mark Twain filed a patent when he was just 35 years old. “Twain found wearing suspenders uncomfortable, so he came up with a device he called an 'Improvement in Adjustable and Detachable Straps for Garments.' What he envisioned was a versatile two-piece strap that fastened with hooks. The hooks were inserted into a series of rows of small holes, chosen depending on how snug (or loose) the wearer wanted their garment.” 

No one took notice of Twain's idea until 1914,  four years after his death and long after his hard-won patent expired, “Mary Phelps Jacob patented the first bra. She sold her patent to the Warner Brothers Corset Company, and they added Twain’s straps to the back to keep the garment in place.” 

Some other ideas failed because they were in poor taste. “Kids weren’t lovin’ it when McDonald’s tried to add bubblegum-flavored broccoli to Happy Meals. In 2014, under pressure to make Happy Meals healthier, the company reflected on how toothpaste producers had used artificial bubblegum flavoring to make their goods more palatable to children. McDonald’s decided to try a similar tactic with the divisive cruciferous veggie. However, a focus group of kids was confused by the final product, which they enjoyed about as little as standard broccoli.” Needless to say, the idea never made it to the general public. 

On the flip side of taste, candy bars were created for soldiers during WWI. “They were an ideal source of sustenance for soldiers fighting abroad: They provided quick calories, were easy to transport across long distances.” When those soldiers returned home, many brought a sweet tooth back with them. 

This resulted in many different candy bar names. “To stand out in a crowded market, these companies started giving their products catchy names designed to grab people’s attention: The Charleston Chew, introduced in 1925, was named after the Charleston dance craze that was sweeping the nation at the time, and in 1921, Baby Ruth bars benefited from their association with baseball superstar Babe Ruth, though they were actually named after the late daughter of former President Grover Cleveland. There were also tasty treats named for Dick Tracy, Little Orphan Annie, and Betsy Ross. By the end of the 1920s, more than 40,000 different candy bars were being produced in the United States.” 

Finally, this Monday marks the forty-eighth anniversary of the KISS visit to Cadillac. The story continues and was recently highlighted in a special edition of Life Magazine. Rock and Roll never sleeps.  

Jim Neff is a local columnist. Read Neff Zone columns online at CadillacNews.com and NeffZone.com/cadillacnews.